Nurse Self Care: 7 Steps to Actually Put Yourself First

Here’s the thing — we’re really good at taking care of everyone else. Our patients, their families, our coworkers who need help, and don’t even get me started on what happens when we get home. But when it comes to nurse self care? Yeah, we’re not so great at that part.

I’ve been there. Working back-to-back 12-hour shifts, skipping lunch breaks, holding my bladder for hours (you know what I’m talking about), and then wondering why I felt like a shell of a person. The compassion fatigue was real, and honestly, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably burned out, exhausted, or just fed up with feeling like you’re running on empty. Good news — you’re in the right place. I’m going to walk you through seven practical steps for nurse self care that actually work. Not the fluffy “take a bubble bath” advice (though baths are nice), but real, actionable strategies you can start today.

Let’s figure this out together.

Step 1: Get Brutally Honest About Your Current State

You can’t fix what you won’t acknowledge. Seriously.

Before you can prioritize nurse self care, you need to take a hard look at where you’re at right now. Are you snapping at your family? Having trouble sleeping? Dreading every shift? These aren’t just “part of the job” — they’re warning signs.

Grab a piece of paper or open your phone’s notes app. Write down:
– How you’re feeling physically (headaches, body aches, exhaustion)
– Your emotional state (anxious, numb, irritable, sad)
– What your stress level is on a scale of 1-10
– The last time you did something just for you

What to watch out for: Don’t minimize what you’re experiencing. If you catch yourself thinking “other nurses have it worse” or “I should be able to handle this,” stop right there. Compassion fatigue and burnout don’t care about comparisons.

In my experience, this first step is the hardest. We’re trained to power through, but ignoring your mental health and physical wellbeing won’t make you a better nurse — it’ll just break you down faster.

Step 2: Set Boundaries Like Your Life Depends On It (Because It Does)

Boundaries aren’t selfish. I’ll say it louder for the people in the back: BOUNDARIES AREN’T SELFISH.

If you keep saying yes to every extra shift, every committee, every favor, you’ll end up with nothing left for yourself. And here’s what nobody tells you — being a martyr doesn’t make you a better nurse. It makes you a burned-out nurse.

Start with these:
– At work: Don’t stay late unless it’s a true emergency. Your relief shows up at 7? You leave at 7. Period.
– With your phone: Stop answering work calls on your days off. Let it go to voicemail.
– With coworkers: It’s okay to say “I can’t pick up that shift.” You don’t even need an elaborate excuse.
– At home: Tell your family you need 30 minutes to decompress after a shift before anyone asks you for anything.

Pro tip: Practice saying “no” out loud. It feels weird at first, but it gets easier. Try: “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I can’t take on anything else right now.”

Nurses on X have been talking about this lately, and one post that went viral showed a nurse’s text declining an extra shift with zero explanation — just “Can’t, sorry!” The replies were full of nurses celebrating this energy. That’s the vibe we need.

Step 3: Build Your Non-Negotiables List

This is where nurse self care gets real. You need a list of things you do every day or every week, no matter what. These aren’t optional — they’re as essential as your medications for your patients.

My non-negotiables look like this:
– Sleep at least 7 hours (even if the house is a mess)
– Eat actual food during my shift (not just vending machine snacks)
– Move my body for 20 minutes (walking counts, dancing in my kitchen counts)
– Talk to someone I care about
– Do one thing that’s just for me

Your list will look different, and that’s fine. The key is figuring out what keeps you feeling human and then protecting those things fiercely.

Warning: People will try to interrupt these. Your charge nurse might ask you to stay late. Your family might want you to skip your workout. Hold firm. These boundaries support everything else you do.

Also, don’t make your list so ambitious that you’re setting yourself up to fail. Start small. You can always add more later.

Step 4: Create a Decompression Routine

You can’t go from code blue to making dinner without some kind of transition. You just can’t.

I think the biggest mistake nurses make is trying to switch off “nurse mode” the second they walk out of the hospital. Your nervous system doesn’t work that way. After spending 12 hours in fight-or-flight mode, you need to intentionally wind down.

Here’s what works for me:
– In the car: I sit for five minutes before driving and just breathe. Sometimes I listen to a specific “calm down” playlist.
– Before going inside: I change my clothes or at least take off my scrubs. Physical separation helps.
– First thing home: I do something that signals “work is over” — shower, change into comfy clothes, pet my dog for 10 minutes.

Some nurses I know use the drive home to call a friend or family member. Others stop at a park and sit on a bench. Find what helps you transition from work mode to human mode.

What to avoid: Don’t use alcohol as your primary decompression tool. I know it’s tempting, and having a glass of wine is fine, but if you’re reaching for a drink every single shift just to cope, that’s a red flag.

Step 5: Deal With the Physical Stuff

Nurse self care isn’t just about mental health — your body is screaming for attention too.

Let’s be real about the physical toll of nursing. We’re on our feet for hours, we’re lifting and pulling and pushing, we’re exposed to all kinds of stuff, and we’re working weird hours that mess with our circadian rhythms. That adds up.

Here’s what you need to prioritize:

Sleep hygiene: I know, I know, you’ve heard this a million times. But if you’re working night shift or rotating shifts, you’ve got to get serious about this. Blackout curtains, white noise, keeping your bedroom cold — these aren’t luxuries, they’re necessities.

Actual nutrition: Meal prep on your days off so you have real food to take to work. Keep protein-rich snacks in your locker. Stay hydrated (yes, even if it means more bathroom breaks).

Move differently: On your days off, do movement that feels good, not punishing. Yoga, swimming, walking, whatever. Your body needs to move in ways that don’t involve racing down hospital hallways.

See your own healthcare providers: When’s the last time you had a physical? Saw a dentist? Got your own mental health checked? We’re terrible at this, but you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Plus, don’t ignore pain. That back pain or knee pain isn’t going to get better by itself. Compression socks, good shoes, and physical therapy aren’t signs of weakness.

Step 6: Build Your Support System

You can’t do this alone. I’m sorry, but you can’t.

One of the best things I ever did for my nurse self care was finding my people — nurses who get it and non-nurses who could give me perspective from outside the healthcare bubble.

Find your tribe:
– Join online communities where nurses talk honestly about burnout and self-care
– Connect with coworkers outside of work (but make a pact not to talk about work the whole time)
– Consider therapy with someone who specializes in healthcare workers
– Lean on friends and family who understand when you need to vent

A recent discussion on X really drove this home for me. Nurses were sharing their experiences with nurse self care on social media, and dozens of comments mentioned how isolating this career can feel. One nurse posted: “Nobody understands why I’m exhausted after ‘just’ three shifts a week until I explain I’ve made 100+ life-or-death decisions in those three days.” The response was overwhelming — thousands of nurses saying “SAME.”

That validation matters. Knowing you’re not alone in feeling burned out, fed up, or just tired matters.

Here’s another thing: If you’re dealing with serious burnout, compassion fatigue, or depression, please talk to a professional. There’s zero shame in getting help. Actually, seeking help is one of the bravest forms of self-care.

Step 7: Regularly Reassess and Adjust

Nurse self care isn’t a one-and-done thing. It’s ongoing, and what works now might not work in six months.

Set a reminder in your phone to check in with yourself monthly. Ask:
– Are my current self-care strategies actually working?
– What’s causing me the most stress right now?
– What do I need more of? Less of?
– Am I still respecting my boundaries, or have I let them slip?

Be willing to pivot. Maybe you started journaling but it feels like a chore now — fine, drop it. Maybe you need to add something new, like a weekly coffee date with a friend or a standing appointment for massage therapy.

Watch out for this: Sometimes we get into a routine and keep doing it even when it’s not serving us anymore. Stay flexible.

Also, be honest about whether your workplace is the problem. I’m all for personal self-care strategies, but if you’re dealing with dangerous staffing ratios, toxic management, or a culture that doesn’t value nurse wellbeing, no amount of bubble baths will fix that. Sometimes the best self-care is updating your resume and finding a healthier work environment.

What to Do After You’ve Completed These Steps

Okay, so you’ve worked through these seven steps. Now what?

First off, celebrate yourself. Seriously. Prioritizing nurse self care in a profession that demands everything from you is no small feat.

But here’s the reality — this isn’t a finish line. It’s a starting point. The work of taking care of yourself continues every single day. Some days you’ll nail it. Other days you’ll skip your lunch break and stay two hours late and wonder why you even tried. That’s normal. Progress isn’t linear.

Keep doing these things:
– Check in with yourself regularly about your physical and emotional state
– Defend your boundaries (they’ll need defending over and over)
– Connect with your support system
– Adjust your strategies when something stops working

And here’s your challenge: Pick one nurse friend or coworker who seems burned out. Share what you’ve learned about nurse self care. Send them this article. Invite them to start implementing these steps with you. When we support each other, we all get stronger.

Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t taking away from your patients. It’s ensuring you can keep showing up for them — and for yourself — in the long run. You deserve rest. You deserve boundaries. You deserve to feel like a whole person, not just a nurse who happens to have a life outside work.

Start with step one today. Then tomorrow, tackle step two. You’ve got this, and I’m rooting for you.

Now get out there and put yourself first for once. Doctor’s orders. Well, nurse’s orders. You know what I mean.